come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
