Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
