put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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