I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
