i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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