You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
