We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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