pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
