Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Randomize
