He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
