Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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