I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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