Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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