The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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