If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
