just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
