Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she smelled like a LAN party
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
