she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
