Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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