I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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