Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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