legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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