This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize