how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
