I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
