Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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