We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
