yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
