You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
