these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
