I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize