We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
