Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Randomize
