I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
