its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
