i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
