I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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