I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
