I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
