handjob tips. give me some.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
