I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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