Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
