idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize