just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
