I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
