I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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