a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
