I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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