The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
