I wannas sexs uuuuu
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
