think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
