Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
