You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
