She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
