she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
