He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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