she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
