I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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