oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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