i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize