If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
