you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish I only lived at night.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she told me i tasted like america
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
