I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
