you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
